Philip Buchanon is a former first-round NFL Draft pick. He spent nine years in the NFL playing for the Raiders, Texans, Buccaneers, Lions and Redskins. But his true success came off the field – when it came to handling his finances. Buchanon says after he was drafted his mother demanded $1 million from him. She says she spent 18 years raising him and was entitled to a payday for doing so.
While I don’t know Philip or his mother, in my experience her request isn’t unusual, but it is a bit extreme. I have talked to many players and their wives, who say family members are the biggest detriment to their financial success. When a young man gets drafted into professional sports, oftentimes his family thinks they’ve hit the jackpot. They come out of the woodwork asking for money. According to many of the wives I’ve talked to, their biggest financial challenge is that their husbands refuse to say no, especially to their moms who ask for new homes, new cars, vacations, you name it. Other relatives ask for help paying bills, investments, tuition, and just about anything. The newly rich athlete feels an obligation to say yes.
So what does a professional adult who achieves success owe his family? As a mom, I think athletes owe their parents respect and acknowledgement of the support, sacrifice, and encouragement that the parents provided as one key to the athlete’s success. The greatest gift a child can give his parents is the ability to take care of himself. I would never want my son to feel obligated to help me financially. Instead, I’d rather have him want to help me, if it was needed.
Some people reading this may wonder why I would have no financial expectations from my son’s success. It’s in part because I grew up extremely poor. My family and I lived in a four-room shack with no running water for many years. I worked very hard to change my circumstances, but my parents never expected me to take care of them as I became successful. Instead, they complimented my accomplishments and were genuinely happy that I was able to make it on my own. Of course, if my parents needed anything, I would help them to the best of my ability.
I passed that same sentiment to Jordan. I let him know that it’s okay to say no, not just to friends and distant relatives, but to me too. Once you start saying yes, it’s difficult to stop. I also instilled in him that he does not have to apologize for his success. He continues to work hard for it. I want him to be grateful for his blessings – he doesn’t have to brag or flaunt his success, but he certainly shouldn’t regret it.
Mothers make the choice to bring their children into the world – not the other way around. If you want a piece of your child’s financial pie, carve it out for yourself. Write a book, get an endorsement deal, produce a video, or give speeches. There is plenty of opportunity. When our children are young, we owe them support, financially and otherwise. When they become successful, they don’t owe us money, a mansion, or a Mercedes. And if you are lucky enough to get such a gift, it’s likely because you raised a child who’s grateful for your guidance, not one who feels he owes you.